I’ve never re-posted something before, but it has been on my heart to re-post this. Even if you read it once… I pray it blesses you again and the Lord uses it in your life!!  -K.

It is the time of year that sends single girls into a tizzy….wedding season! We hear the phrase always a bridemaid never a bride, or someday your prince will come until we nearly vomit! But my goal is not to address the well meaning people  in our life, that fear we may die due to complications directly related to our singlehood! Today I wanna address you guessed it–ALL THE SINGLE LADIES, ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!!

First to give you some background, I am not perfect–shocking I know (I just heard somebody’s bubble burst). I am so sick of seeing my single friends who are young, intelligent, vibrant woman of God, lose their minds because they don’t have a man!!

Being single I have learned a few things over the years that have helped me transform from an 18 year old girl that thought she was an old maid into a 24 year old woman that realizes this is my time with my Savior, and I’m cherish every moment of it!

#1 Do you believe that God has His best for you?

He came that you might have the abundant life right?!?! (John 10:10)                          He has every good gift for you! Oooh wait not just everyone around you that is getting married  but you as well!! He is probably in the process of making sure you get a good gift instead of a gift you have to return because it doesn’t work quite right. Wait it out–he won’t disappoint!

#2 Do you feel lonely, scared, anxious, worried, heart broken????

Hosea  2:14-20 in the  Message should set you at ease:

^14-15 “And now, here’s what I’m going to do:
I’m going to start all over again.
I’m taking her back out into the wilderness
where we had our first date, and I’ll court her.
I’ll give her bouquets of roses.
I’ll turn Heartbreak Valley into Acres of Hope.
She’ll respond like she did as a young girl,
those days when she was fresh out of Egypt. ^16-20 “At that time”—this is God’s Message still—
“you’ll address me, ‘Dear husband!’
Never again will you address me,
‘My slave-master!’
I’ll wash your mouth out with soap,
get rid of all the dirty false-god names,
not so much as a whisper of those names again.
At the same time I’ll make a peace treaty between you
and wild animals and birds and reptiles,
And get rid of all weapons of war.
Think of it! Safe from beasts and bullies!
And then I’ll marry you for good—forever!
I’ll marry you true and proper, in love and tenderness.
Yes, I’ll marry you and neither leave you nor let you go.
You’ll know me, God, for who I really am.

#3 Return to your first love!!

Set Jesus and your relationship with Him as your top priority! This is your time to be romanced and wooed!! Through the revelation of Jesus’ love and entering into a romance with him, you set your foundation and root the core of who you are in His love. People can get creeped out by this or think that it is good in theory and not apply it, but look at this logically—He created romance—let him show you what it is all about!

Just incase you don’t know this is what Jesus thinks about you:

Song of Songs 6: 4-5

You are beautiful, my darling, as Tirzah,
lovely as Jerusalem,
majestic as troops with banners. Turn your eyes from me;
they overwhelm me.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
descending from Gilead,

#4 Become a woman worthy of a Godly husband!

A lot of times we get tired of waiting— did you every think that maybe you’re husband is getting impatient as he waits for you to become who God intended you to be?  Rather than spending this time in your life moping around or sitting idly by; jump in!! How do you know that the Lord isn’t waiting for you to accomplish thing 1, 2, and 3 before meeting your spouse because  they will grow and shape you into who you are?

The Lord knows your heart and will help rid of of every iniquity until you become the woman He created you to be. Proverbs 31 sets out some specific examples of what a Godly woman is, verse 30 sums it up best  ”Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” All the makeup, hair products, and clothes don’t matter.  You can look the part but can you play it?

#5 I’ve never missed someone so much that I have never met!!

This is true! I heard this line in a movie once, referring to wanting children and I was moved to tears because that is how I feel about my husband. I just love him already and am in his corner.  I find that the times I am most lonely for Him that praying for him really helps.  I struggled to pray for him for so long because I wasn’t sure the best way to because I didn’t want to pray ‘bring him now’ I wanted to pray for real needs in his life. I started praying scriptures over him, I have compiled a book of scriptures that speak blessing over his life. As always I think that it is important to remain attentive to the Holy Spirit and what He is speaking to you to pray.

#6 DO NOT under any circumstances fuel the fire!!!

Yes we all get lonely, yes we feel the need for male attention especially when we get the crazies, yes this makes can make us feel worse about being a lone. This is when we revert to praying or spending time with Jesus. THIS IS NOT THE TIME TO LOCK YOURSELF IN A ROOM AND WATCH THE NOTEBOOK UNTIL YOU CAN NO LONGER BREATHE!!!!!

#7 Know your triggers.

There are certain things that send up on a one way ticket to crazy—they are different for all of us. You need to know what yours are and avoid them. Use wisdom when faced with situations that are hard for you. Be accountable to someone about them and your plan to deal with them.

#8 Don’t engage in emotional pornography!!

Emotional what????? I have yet to find a term that describes that place all girls have in their brain other than emotional pornography. We get a case of the what if’s and it turns into us standing at the altar with the random guy in the produce section. When it is someone we know, this tends to snowball leaving us closed off in this little world that is far from reality.

As we slip into the vortex of our brain sometimes we can “forget” to live in the present. We take everyday situations and say I wish I was with my husband. Suddenly instead of enjoying a sunset with a friend you’re utterly depressed, not enjoying yourself, no fun to your friend, and lost in your brain. Hmm stealing joy–sounds like the enemy to me!

Part of living in the moment doesn’t mean attending every event, engagement, baby shower, or wedding lusting after what yours will be like. This is your loved one’s day support them, help make it a special occasion for them!

Take EVERY thought captive, and refuse to entertain even the slightest scenario, and emotional pornography will no longer have a grip on you!!

#9 Just because a guy is a Christian doesn’t make him good enough for you.

Its a little harsh but super true!! When selecting applicants for a job, they do not just automatically settle with those that have the minimum requirements and basic skill set. They wait until they are wowed and see someone that was born to do the job. Wait for the one that was born run with you!!

#10 Jesus is in the waiting.

When I came to the conclusion that Jesus was in the waiting I felt like chains had come off of me. Waiting doesn’t suck despite what we all hear from TV, movies, and annoying people. Waiting can be a great thing!! As I said earlier this is the season where you build or rebuild the core of who you are based on the foundation of God’s love. What could be better than that!?!?! It is also a great times to learn to trust, find healing for past hurt, get rid of daddy issues, deal with the things you have faced in this life, set the world on fire for Jesus, be betrothed to the one who formed your heart and is overwhelmed by your beauty.

One will say, ‘I belong to the LORD ‘;
another will call himself by the name of Jacob;
still another will write on his hand, ‘The LORD’s,’
and will take the name Israel. (Isaiah 44:5)

This is a wonderful season. I pray that we all might find these years to be our best yet. Jesus has so much for you, so much that a diamond ring cannot compare!

We all have our guilty pleasures mine is the TV show Hoarders. Whether it is regular Hoarders or Animal Hoarders –I just can’t get enough of this train wreck TV. I have yet to figure out why it has made such a huge impression on other than the total gross out factor.

Compulsive hoarding is defined as is the excessive acquisition of possessions (and failure to use or discard them), even if the items are worthless, hazardous, or unsanitary. Compulsive hoarding impairs mobility and interferes with basic activities. It is easy to look at people particularly in a hoarding  situation and think wow I could never be like that. But lets have an honest moment here, how many times do our hearts look like an episode of Hoarders with “living spaces sufficiently cluttered so as to preclude activities for which those spaces were designed”.

So often our hearts are overflowing with junk past issues, hurts, and wounds living a little pathway that we all allow the Lord to walk in. Much like a compulsive hoarder, the thought of letting go of it all, clearing it all out is paralyzing and filled with anxiety. The unknown is incredibly frightening and oftentimes people prefer an existence that is less than desirable because it is familiar.

It is easy to look at a woman pleading to keep a box full of books covered in cockroach eggs as crazy, but is it much different than clutching toxic pieces of our lives and refusing to let go? Romanticizing a past life filled with sin is much like the lady throwing her own poop in a room for 10 years—IT’S DISGUSTING!

John 8:36 says  “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” It is widely quoted throughout Christian circles yet so many people are being held hostage by their crap (for lack of a better term). It is not about minimizing trauma, but  maximizing freedom. Its about laying it all out there. I understand  it takes a lot to truly strip away all that we are holding onto despite the fact that it is poisoning us. I know that it can be scary to be completely vulnerable even before the Lord.  However, I also know what freedom feels like and the power of that manifested in my life is priceless.

Whether your heart looks like an episode of Hoarders or you have all your junk stuffed in one closet or  under the bed–it is too much. You can fool yourself into thinking its harmless and no one will know, but it will manifest itself in your life.  God’s plan for your life is so much greater than that!

Freedom is yours–believe it, embrace it, and RUN with it!!!

Much like many of you I have been so moved by the rescue of the 33 miners in Chile. My immediate reaction as I watched the capsule go into the mine was that was what Jesus did for me. I immediately called to mind, Psalm 23:6:

“Your beauty and love chase after me  every day of my life.
I’m back home in the house of God for the rest of my life”

When I think of a rescue I don’t think of Jesus in a cape coming in and sweeping me off my feet— I picture something like this. The Chilean President and said he was not giving up until he found the miners. While God knows exactly where we are He goes to great lengths to reach us, make contact with us, ensure our safety, and rescue us. The awesome thing is it does not stop there—he restores us, heals our wounds, nurses us back to health and gives us victory over all that besieged us!

The headlines quotes and quotes for miners all speak of rebirth, new life, a new day. Much like the world will quickly forget of this story and the feels in brought us, sometimes we forget our dramatic rescue. We get so caught up in day to day life that we forget we owe everything to the one who rescued us. These miners will forever be known and label themselves as one of the 33 rescued. I can hear it playing out in a coffee shop  “Yeah, that guy over there he was one of the minors rescued, he told me all about it. Its a crazy story, he’s never been the same”. How much more  should we be screaming from the roof tops of the rescue and work that God continues to do in our lives! As Revelation 12:11 “They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb says and by the word of their testimony” I We forget the power that lies in our testimony!! It is a weapon of war that will defeat the enemy! love it!!

Today, I encourage you to remember and thank the Lord for your rescue. As we allow our attitude and thought process to be shaped by all we’ve come from we gain a huge amount of perspective. When we reside in that place of gratitude–His yolk is easy, His burden is light,and His commands are our pleasure.

In the world where unbelievers experience the harshness of life without relationship with Jesus, the word hope permeates culture. Advertising campaigns, books, movies, politicians, even home decorations are marketed using ‘hope’ because it sells. Are we selling hope to the lost or perpetuating a mysterious and obscure ideal that we cannot define and we choose to subscribe to depending on what is happening in our life?

What is hope?

It is a word that has become ubiquitous in our 21st century vocabulary. I would argue that most people when asked to define hope would talk about an emotion.  When hope is no longer a euphemism for a wish or an emotional response it is greater than circumstance. Emotions fluctuate and must submit to the Holy Spirit as He rules and reigns our lives; while wish lists takes Jesus from Lord of your life to Santa Clause.

While skimming over definitions of hope in the dictionary I was struck by two words: trust and expectation. Trust indicates relationship—it is established through intimacy. Situations that require hope also stand as a catalyst for building the very trust and intimacy. Hosea 2 talks about intimacy and betrothal occurring following everything being stripped away and being in the desert. I love the beautiful illustration in verse 16  that amongst a barren wasteland the Lord goes from Master to husband. As our relationship with the Lord expands past the realm of servant and master to the intimate relationship of betrothal; trust is established and builds over time as we endure the season of life.

Expectation much like trust is rooted in intimacy with God. As we pursue relationship with the Lord we see His heart because He reveals His secrets to His friends. In addition we develop a heart for what concerns him. This is imperative for believers because instead of guessing or filtering through what we have heard that God desires we know because it has been deposited in our hearts. Armed with the knowledge and revelation from the Lord we begin to expect and declare that His Kingdom be established on earth as it is in heaven just as He does.

As I have read blogs and listened to various podcasts and live feeds of services over the last few months I have been caught of guard by the description of hope in our nation and in our world by Christians. The picture often painted especially when praying for the lost or for revival speakings to the lack of hope, the darkness, the depravity. While I agree that the world is a harsh place and I do not know how someone functions in that without being rooted in Jesus–I do not see a bleak picture. I see a breeding ground for miracles. I see dry bones waiting for someone to make a declaration over them. I see springs coming forth in the desert. He calls what is not into being!!! As we place our trust, faith, and expectation in the Lord the we should have nothing but HOPE!

I am overwhelmed by the power that comes as we wait and hope in the Lord  even as I type this, not just for the perishing, but for those that know the Lord. Life happens, death, destruction, illness, we all have fractures in our lives that the Lord never intended for us to have.  This is not His system–this is man’s way laden with the effects of sin. Life in Christ affords us a better way; wholeness, healing, restoration, freedom, victory —as we place our trust in Him, His Kingdom will be established in our lives regardless of the circumstance that surround us.

There is power, power, wonder-working power
In the blood of the Lamb;
There is power, power, wonder-working power
In the precious blood of the Lamb.~Lewis E. Jones

I love these lyrics, they get me all kinds of riled up because they are loaded with truth!! There is power in the blood of the lamb! This is a phrase that elicits a visceral response in most Christians.  However, many Christian’s are not seeing that power manifest fully in their lives.

In this journey of life we all experience ‘stuff”; hardship, tragedy, loss, trauma etc… While it all can be used to refine us and help us grow, many carry the weight of it all. The enemy takes our trauma spins it around and pins us to a wall with it. As long as we are paralyzed with grief, fear, and pain, the enemy has the power. Our wounds remain open, debilitating, and infected oozing into all aspects of our life. Satan knows what we are capable of therefore he makes every attempt to cripple us and stop us in our tracks.

An amazing woman of God gave me one of the greatest gifts of my life; she taught me how to get my power back. I did not even know it was missing.  Lets dive into into Matthew chapter four and observe as the enemy is relentlessly attacking Jesus. This picture is not unfamiliar to us in our day to day lives; our minds racing, heart pounding, as we are pounded with with attack after attack of the enemy.

Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the desert to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was hungry. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’”

Then the devil took him to the holy city and had him stand on the highest point of the temple. “If you are the Son of God,” he said, “throw yourself down. For it is written:
” ‘He will command his angels concerning you,
and they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.’“

Jesus answered him, “It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’”

Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor. “All this I will give you,” he said, “if you will bow down and worship me.”

Jesus said to him, “Away from me, Satan! For it is written: ‘Worship the Lord your God, and serve him only.’”

Then the devil left him, and angels came and attended him. Matthew 4:1-11 emphasis added

As Satan spewed venomous attacks at Jesus, He countered each attack with scripture rendering the enemy powerless, until he fled.

I what your process will entail mine was quite simple. At the direction of one wiser than myself, I wrote all my junk out on paper, and countered every thought and emotion with the truth of scripture. To say I experienced breakthrough would be an understatement, but I don’t know what else to call it. I was unknowingly operating at half power, buckling under the weight of all I was carrying. I could breathe, no longer exasperated by thoughts that swirled around my head holding me captive. I am not without issue or struggle, but I am equipped to overcome them like never before.

My prayer is that we might be a people, a generation tapping into the POWER that the blood of Jesus affords us. Our inheritance and destiny are more than being the walking wounded dependent on self help books, addictions, and crutches that help us through the day.

I have always been drawn to the story of Abraham. I just love it!!! Amidst his humanity, there is such promise and faith woven into the story of his life. Abraham accepted the limitations that the flesh presented, yet still clung to words God spoke to him.

By faith Abraham, even though he was past age–and Sarah herself was barren–was enabled to become a father because heconsidered him faithful who had made the promise.Hebrews 11:11

I remember reading through his story over and over as a teen—drawing off his experiences. No one could argue that Abraham was without temptation, sin, or struggle much like us. Yet in that weakened state of humanity, he was able to experience the promises of God and see them come to fruition. What a song of hope!!!

The second part of the story of Abraham that just makes me love God even more is—He calls what is not into being!!!! Seriously, how does it get better than that. Circumstance told Abraham that he was too old to produce a child and that his wife was barren. Circumstances are not an indication of our destiny!! God has the final say!!

I listened to Kris Vallotton’s message on promise yesterday, I loved his take on circumstance, saying we must be defined by our stances not our circumstances. This is a spiritual principle that separates Kingdom from playing dress up with church clothes. Oh dang! Seriously though, what are we if our relationship with Jesus, attitudes, and level of praise are dictated by our surroundings? Without unrelenting devotion and love we are merely a cheering section that let’s God know how well we think He is doing. Guess what…He is Lord, seated on the throne regardless of the value we place on that, or our submission to Him!

I have a tattoo on my foot that says Give everything, Endure anything— it is the motto of DIBOR , the discipleship school I attended. It is an external depiction of the mark the Lord put on my life. I am one that has been called to endure over and over throughout my life. However, I am also one that knows the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Like Abraham I am full of humanity and not without issue, but I desire to be one that sets my gaze on the Lord regardless of circumstance.

Whatever  we encounter we have such hope because our God is seated on the throne, and will not be shaken. He cannot be anything less than faithful! While the road may require endurance or long suffering it is full of grace for every moment.  Here’s a secret…its worth its weight it gold, its where giants are made.

God, my shepherd! I don’t need a thing. You have bedded me down in lush meadows you find me quiet pools to drink from. True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction. Psalm 23:1-3 MSG

“More of you and less of me,” is thrown around with ease and in reality used for self gratification.  Statements like this can be used to justify parts of self that need to die especially when asserting one’s righteousness  (I know there are those that make such statements with a sincere heart). In all reality the statement should be “I want all of you and none of me.” Just as those that sang Hosanna on Sunday and crucified Him on Friday; our tune quickly changes when situations arise that have the intensity to illicit the very response we were praying for. It is easy to jump up and down, or dance and sing when you are on top of the world and carefree. I would even say it is more socially acceptable than weeping and crying out to just touch the hem of His garment because without Him you cannot go on.

I am not in anyway asserting that I have it all together because I see room for growth in my life and speak candidly about it. My heart is that The Church and specifically my generation will crave depth. A people that will not be moved until they experience life change. I see it happening!!!  I truly believe this generation will go from whore to handmaid, and Jesus will see the radiant Bride He longs for.  We just have to run after “The more of Him” holding nothing back even when it costs all of us everything. Whether you are on the mountain top, clinging to your ebenezer, or  deep in the elements of the wilderness, I encourage you to make this your priority. You will encounter such beauty and experience breakthrough many will never know because you were willing to give everything and endure anything just to know Him more.

Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision—you’ll see it yet! Phil. 3:13-15

A lot of people have been texting, Facebooking, e-mailing etc… for updates on my health. I realize there are people in a much worse position than myself so I have not yet formally addressed it on my blog up to this point. However, It is much easier to do a blanket update here so I am. 

Here’s the background:
As I have posted previously, I attended DIVE in June. The week I came home I was very exhausted, but attributed it to the trip. In hindsight, going to bed at 6 pm was not normal. A week after being home I had a viral illness thought to be Lyme disease but praise Jesus it was not. About 10 days in I had joint pain severe enough to effect my mobility.

Present day::
I’m still in the waiting game. It is clear I have some form of reactive arthritis. At this point they are treating it as early rheumatoid arthritis because it follows that pattern of development. A month into medication and physical therapy I have not seen a huge difference. My ‘tolerance for activity’ as my PT calls it has increased, but I’m still using a walker and relying on others to help with usual daily activities. My doctor has explained that this is a very long process. My goal at this point is to get to using a cane. I am following up with my rheumatologist next week to see what the next step in this process is.

Frequently Asked Questions::

Where am I staying?
With my mom. I came for an afternoon and never left, really.
I moved out of my apartment this month because I haven’t been there since July.

Am I working?
No I’m not working. Due to the nature and demands of my work it looks like it will be a while until I can return.

Did I lose my job?
Nope. Thankfully my contract allows me to be out for an extended time period.

Can I play the piano?
Believe it or not this is the most common question I hear. No I am not able to play the piano because my hands are really affected.(I’ve been blogging via my cell phone because its much easier to type on)

Am I bored?
Yes!!!!!!!!!!!
If you know me, you know I thrive in high stress, highly busy atmospheres. But, I have been in a season of rest for the last 10 months so I’m learning the art of stillness.

Have I found any new hobbies?
No. I’m limited in what I can do because of my hands. I keep assuring my mom an iPad would be a great hobby. I have been writing a lot of songs and exploring the Word. Plus having nieces and a nephew so close helps keep me entertained.

How are my spirits?
Really good. There have only been a few times I have gotten really discouraged. Everytime discouragement creeps up the Lord is so faithful to send encouragement before it takes hold. I have encountered the Lord in a new way and is truly worth all of this. 

I have to thank my family especially my mom for taking such good care of me, I could never thank you enough!! To my wonderful friends, there are no words for how much I have appreciated your prayers, love, and encouragement in this season. Eleven weeks is a long time to be sick and resting, but the grace God gives me for each day is remarkable. I love you all!

Today I was thanking the Lord for the amazing men and women of God he has put in my life. I instantly thought of Proverbs 27:17: 

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

I would not be where I am today as a woman or a Christian if I did not have amazing people speaking into my life. I do not mean a token Christian friend, but people of transparency and substance. I love the people God has but in my life we laugh, dream, encourage, pray, cry, vent, heal, care, create, labor. Healthy Christian relationships are imperative not only to spiritual growth but to keep you healthy; much like the metal iron. 

Iron deficiency is something millions of people suffer from. Common symptoms are breathlessness, depression, fatigue and weakness. When inadequate amounts of iron are consumed the body relies on iron stores depleting them causing damage to the body and increasing symptoms. Pregnant women and women who have recently given birth most commonly suffer with iron deficiency.

I tried to not be too medical and use common language, but the spiritual parallels are uncanny! Iron is essential to life!! Whether we are birthing something, in a season of growth, or weary in need of sustenance relationships are essential our walk with the Lord.

We need to continually sharpen our iron in order to keep these symptoms from developing in our spiritual life. Be in pursuit! Seek someone out! I completely recognize everyone is not surrounded by healthy Christians, but find one near or far. Pursue someone atleast one person and honestly tell them you need someone to mentor or disciple you.

The first person that discipled me was my dear friend Jenny. As we developed a friendship I gleaned from her wisdom and experience. Before I knew it I left every meeting every conversation desiring more of Jesus. Somethings were obvious like me coming to her for counsel or needing to know what was this Holy Spirit all about. But so much was just relational. I am so thankful for each person the Lord has put in my life to encourage me and help me become more like Him.

Ask the Lord for a mentor or kindred spirit to journey with. He will be faithful to provide one!!

I thought it would be a good idea to challenge my brain with a 1,000 piece puzzle It seemed like a good idea when I bought it. I probably have not even attempted a puzzle since Boys II Men were popular. Do the math…its been a while!

I have discovered it is humility in a box!! As I was complaining to myself about all the details in the waterfalls, rocks, and plant life that made up this puzzle– I had a very humbling thought. God created each of those minute details in real life. I can’t put together a 1,000 piece puzzle, yet I attempt to tell God how to run my life?!?!?! Sheesh!

I am reminded so much this week that He cares about the little things, Each detailed dream and desire hidden in our hearts. If He cares about the little things how much more does He care about the big things! God fashioned the wonders of the world, He only makes beauty–He has beauty  for your life let him create it!! Natural beauty is always better than man made, in His timing and in His perfect will he reveal all He has for our lives!!

(On a side note:: every person that doesn’t believe God created the Earth, or struggling with submition to God should do a 1,000 piece puzzle.)